FanSBemails
by Segekihei
Summary: What happens when a group of Homestarrunner.com fans get together to create fan Strong Bad emails? Well...this, for one! 4 emails available.
1. Introduction

Welcome to SBemails. These are fan made versions of Strong Bad emails (www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html). First, a bit about this:  
  
1. These are made by several writers. Not just me.  
  
2. The authors are all on www.homestarrunner.net/forum in case you wish to talk to them directly.  
  
3. In reviews, please state the author/title of SBemail you're sending the shoutout to.  
  
Thanks,  
  
Michael Segekihei  
  
Compilation Director 


	2. Email 1: New Mail by Michael Segekihei

Created by Michael Segekihei  
  
Michael Segekihei's notes: Hello, and welcome to SBemail Corner. I'm Michael Segekihei, author of this fanSBemail, and I'd like to thank you for reading this...anywhoot, enjoy, and expect more soon! Just imagine this as the new SBemail when H*R.com doesn't post one :-D  
  
SB: (a la Daft Punk) Last night I had a dream about you, In this dream, I'm answering your e-mail...   
  
(as he says above, he types strongbad_email.exe...enter)   
  
Letter:   
  
Hey Cwapface,   
  
(SB: Oh, there's a new one. This won't be good)   
  
Why don'tcha blow it out your ear?   
  
Your pal, Stong Bah   
  
(Strong Bad pauses, then looks at header)   
  
Ohh, sent mail. (enters New_mail_strongbad_email.exe...enter)   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
(SB: Back to normal, I see. Good for you)   
  
Have you ever considered returning to your career in professional wrestling?   
  
Your pal,   
  
|-|/-\0R   
  
SB: Well Hacksore (phoenetically pronounced), I've always thought about returning to the ring. Although I can't imagine the feedback from the War for the Star...   
  
(types in marshmallows_last_stand.avi...enter)   
  
Compy: 404'd!   
  
SB: Woah. That's never happened before. ...wait, it happened a few weeks ago. (flashback to the stongbad_email.exe incident)   
  
(types in marshmallows_last_stand.mpg...enter)   
  
Compy: 404'd!   
  
!-EGG ALERT: Click the 0 in 404'd for an egg seen below-!   
  
SB: Wait...so it never existed! Time to live it up! (Strong Bad leaves room)   
  
!-EGG BEGIN-!   
  
(Strong Sad enters and sees the email and his reply)   
  
SS: Finally, someone else takes the abuse...   
  
(Strong Bad runs in and tackles Strong Sad)   
  
SB: Hehe, almost forgot. (walks off)   
  
SS: (pause) oww...   
  
!-EGG END-!   
  
(Strong Bad heads out to Strongbadia, where he posts signs of a wrestling event:   
  
______________   
  
|.Strong Bad ....|   
  
|.......vs...........|   
  
|....All! 2nite....|   
  
|Strongbadia....|   
  
|be all up ons...|   
  
|____________|   
  
(A/N: Apoligies for the bad ASCII art...)   
  
He heads to Bubs' Concession Stand, where he posts an ad on the side of Bubs' Stand.)   
  
Bubs: Hey Strong Bad, you wanna buy any crazy crap?   
  
SB: Nah, I'm on business. Big fight tonight.   
  
Bubs: Ohh...can I work concession there?   
  
SB: Sure, why not. (Strong Bad walks off)   
  
!-EGG ALERT--Any time during previous scene, click Bubs' sign-!   
  
!-EGG BEGIN-!   
  
Bubs: Hot dog!! (ducks down below stand and comes back up with a harness on his back)   
  
(Bubs stands up fully and starts walking along. The concession stand is lifted off the ground and moves along with Bubs.)   
  
!-EGG END-!   
  
(Strong Bad heads over to Homestar's house where he plasters signs all over his windows. Homestar peeks his eyes through an opening in the signs.)   
  
Homestar: Hey Stong Bah, whatcha doing?   
  
SB: Shut up Homestar.   
  
Homestar: Aye aye captain!   
  
SB: (plasters a sign over where Homestar was looking) Dork...   
  
(Strong Bad heads over to the KoT's castle, where he puts signs all over the drawbridge. The drawbridge then lowers to reveal the KoT standing at the end looking at Strong Bad.)   
  
KoT: Stop defacing my castle (doo hoo).   
  
(pause)   
  
SB: (sticks sign over KoT's head)   
  
KoT: doohoo...(invisible arms attempt to pull off sign but can't reach that far)   
  
SB: (walks off)   
  
!-EGG ALERT--Click on the Sign on KoT's head-!   
  
!-EGG BEGIN-!   
  
KoT: (pauses, sign begins to move, screen blanks for a second, then goes back to him with the sign off and glue all over his face) Doohoo, papery!   
  
!-EGG END-!   
  
(Strong Bad heads over to the Poopsmith's pile, where the Poopsmith is going for a...swim...err...)   
  
SB: That's weird even for this town. (walks off)   
  
!-EGG ALERT--Click the pile of whatzit.-!   
  
!-EGG BEGIN-!   
  
Poopsmith: (dives and then surfaces, spurting..."water" out of his mouth like a fountain)   
  
!-EGG END-!   
  
(Strongbadia that night. Strong Bad is in full wrestling uniform--read: normal clothes for him--ready to take on challengers. Pan out to see that he's set up a crude wrestling ring in the empty space of Strongbadia. Pan out further to see...nobody's there. Whoop.)   
  
SB: (persistantly stands there)   
  
(A Fast Forward sign appears at the bottom as Strong Bad is seen playing cards with the Tire, among other things as the night passes. The icon disappears as Strong Bad sighs and goes back inside.)   
  
(At the Compy)   
  
SB: Well Hacksore, I guess I'm out for good. I guess people don't like wrestling anymore...   
  
(Paper drop.)   
  
!-EGG ALERT--click people don't like wrestling-!   
  
!-EGG BEGIN-!   
  
(In Strongbadia, all of Free Country are sitting in mini-stands near the ring. Zoom in on Homestar.)   
  
Homestar: I wonder where Stong Bah is...   
  
Bubs: (still with harness and stand on his back, taking up half the bleachers) You gonna buy something or just waste my time? (leaves)   
  
!-EGG END-!  
  
-----------------  
  
Review and power my house, friends... 


	3. Email 2: It's a Wonderful Email by Trun...

Created by Trunks187  
  
Trunks187's notes: I was always thinking about doing a Homestar Runner fic. After some thinking, I decided to parody the old xmas movie It's a Wonderful Life with Strong Bad getting rid of his emails. Enjoy the fic.  
  
[In tune of "Let's go down to the lobby"]   
  
Bubs: Let's all go down to, my stand! Let's all go down to, my stand! Let's all go down to, my STAND! To get ourselves a snack!   
  
...to think this is my only line in this fic..   
  
It's a Wonderful E-mail   
  
Strong Bad is on his Compy, ready to start his weekly e-mail.   
  
Strong Bad: And now...the man who put the mail back in e-mail...Strong Bad!   
  
[strong_bads_email.exe]   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
Why is it possible that you can type with boxing gloves on?   
  
Strong Bad: Ok, skip this crap. Next e-mail.   
  
Compy: NEXT!! (deleted)   
  
DEAR STRUNG BAD   
  
Y U NEVER TAKE OFF GLOVES 4 TYPING?!?!!1!?   
  
Strong Bad: Yeah? Well why you never type properly? Maybe YOU need some gloves. What's next?   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
I hate it when you type with your boxing gloves on.   
  
Strong Bad: And I hate it when you fill my inbox with crap! I got one word for you: DELETED!   
  
Compy: DELETED!!   
  
Strong Bad: The next one BETTER not be about my gloves!   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
I love everything about you. I love the way you kick The Cheat.   
  
I love the way you pick on Strong Sad. I even love your stunning   
  
good looks and your magnificant bod.   
  
Strong Bad: Whoa! Strong Bad's got a winning e-mail!   
  
So I must ask you this important question...page 2   
  
Strong Bad: What? What is it my wonderful love?! [clicks on page 2]   
  
How can you type with boxing...gloves...on...   
  
Strong Bad: AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Why do I always get these crappy e-mails?! Let's see the next one!   
  
Dear S.B.   
  
How do you type w/ gloves?   
  
Strong Bad: LIKE THIS!   
  
Compy: DELETED!!   
  
Deer S.B.   
  
Strong Bad: blah blah blah! Type w/ gloves? blah blah blah DELETED!   
  
Compy: DELETED!!   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
Why do you type with gloves on?   
  
Strong Bad: HERE'S WHY! CAUSE YOU'RE DELETED YOU LITTLE-   
  
Compy: DELETED!!   
  
Strong Bad: I can't take this anymore! These e-mails are e-crap! My Inbox is full of nothing but how I type with these godforsaken boxing gloves! This absolutely sucks! It's over! No more weekly e-mails! EVER!   
  
Strong Bad goes under his table and unplugs Compy.   
  
Strong Bad: I wish I never did the weekly e-mail! ...What's on T.V.?   
  
Strong Bad stares at his T.V. and falls asleep on the couch. Just then, the T.V. turns to fuzz.   
  
Strong Bad: Huh? Wha...oh. Must've fell asleep. What else is on?   
  
He clicks on the remote and nothing happens.   
  
Strong Bad: What the crap? Oh well. I'll go play some Trogdor.   
  
He goes to his Trogdor arcade game, only to realize it's gone.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey! Who stole my Trogdor game?!   
  
He runs upstairs and sees his computer is gone.   
  
Strong Bad: Holy crap! Something's weird going on! Oh no...my Strongbadia!   
  
Strong Bad goes to his backyard and sees Strongbadia looking different.   
  
Strong Bad: AH! Where's my tire?! And my stop sign?! Wait, what's that sign say?   
  
He goes to a yield sign with a piece of paper over it saying:   
  
"Homsar Country"   
  
Strong Bad: Homsar Country?! This can't be happening! What the crap is going on?!   
  
???: It's simple, Strong Bad. You wished for it to happen.   
  
Strong Bad: What the? Who said that?   
  
A faint figure appears in front of him. It turns into the Tandy 400!   
  
Strong Bad: Ta-ta-tandy?! What are YOU doing here?!   
  
Tandy: I've become a computer angel now Strong Bad, but I have yet to earn my cyberwings.   
  
Strong Bad:Well good for you! Now can you tell me why my Trogdor game and Compy are gone?! And explain what this nut is doing here!   
  
Homsar: I'M A LYING DEMOCRAT!   
  
Tandy: The reason why everything doesn't seem the way they are is because you wished it all away.   
  
Strong Bad: Wished it all away? I only wished away doing the weekly e-mail away!   
  
Tandy: Exactly. Trogdor and Compy only existed because you did the e-mail. And that's not the worst of it.   
  
Strong Bad: It gets worse?   
  
Tandy: Come Strong Bad. I'm going to show what life would be like if you never did the weekly e-mail.   
  
Tandy and Strong Bad instantly disappear and they reappear at Strong Bad's school in the locker room. Next to them is Strong Sad, who is putting something in his locker.   
  
Strong Bad: Whoa! I didn't know you can do that!   
  
Tandy: You can do a lot of things when you die. Anyway, here we are in your school locker room-   
  
Strong Bad: Er, hold on a second. Hey dumbface, you know what it's like to live in a locker?   
  
Strong Sad ignores him.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey, dumbface!   
  
Strong Sad continues to ignore him.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey!   
  
Strong Bad tries to punch him in the neck, and his fist goes right through.   
  
Strong Bad: What the crap?!   
  
Tandy: People can not see, hear, or feel you Strong Bad.   
  
Strong Sad: And...there! That take cares of that.   
  
Strong Sad closes with locker and leave.   
  
Strong Bad: Um, what did he mean by that?   
  
Tandy: Let's find out.   
  
Tandy magically opens the locker. Inside, a different Strong Bad is hanging by his foot on the hook.   
  
Strong Bad: Holy crap! That's me!   
  
Other Strong Bad: Hello? Anybody? Somebody get me down? Please? Hello?   
  
Strong Bad: How can this happen?! No way he can do something like that to me!   
  
Tandy: He could if he was more popular.   
  
Strong Bad: WHAT?!   
  
They disappear and reappear in the hallways. Strong Sad is with Strong Mad and Marzipan.   
  
Strong Mad: Where Is DA Dork?   
  
Strong Sad: He's "hanging" around the lockers, if you know what I mean!   
  
Strong Mad: DA HA HA HA HA!   
  
Marzipan: Oh Strong Sad, you're so cool. I'm glad to be your girlfriend and not Strong Bad's.   
  
Strong Bad: Strong Sad...with Marzipan?!?! How dare he steal my love!   
  
Tandy: She was never your love.   
  
Strong Bad: Shut up! She had the hots for me!   
  
Tandy: Of course. Anyway, you were only popular because of the weekly e-mails you do. But since you didn't do them, you became just a big loser, and Strong Sad became the most popular student in school.   
  
Strong Bad: Well, that kind of makes sense. But still, I should still be WAY more popular than that weiner.   
  
Marzipan: Say Strong Sad, have you finished your new CD yet?   
  
Strong Sad: Oh yeah. I got this new song dedicated to Strong Bad. Ahem...   
  
Strong Bad...he's such a dork.   
  
An Uber-dork.   
  
The king of dorks!   
  
Strong Bad...he's such a loser.   
  
A total loser.   
  
100% loser!   
  
We all hate him, hate him, hate him!   
  
We hate that guy so MUCH!   
  
Marzipan: Oh Strong Sad, you're the greatest signer who ever sang.   
  
Strong Bad: Oh, it was bad enough he hung me in a locker, NOW he's stealing my bit! I'll get him for this!   
  
Strong Bad jumps up and tries to tackle Strong Sad. He goes right through and lands on his face.   
  
Strong Bad: Ow.   
  
Strong Sad: What the?   
  
Marzipan: Something wrong?   
  
Strong Sad: I thought I felt Strong Bad next to me.   
  
Strong Mad: ME TOO!   
  
Marzipan: Oh don't be ridiculous. He's still hanging in the locker.   
  
Strong Bad: I'm going to get my revenge on that weiner!   
  
Tandy: Oh I don't think you'll be getting revenge dork.   
  
Strong Bad: Did you just call me a dork?   
  
Tandy: Come. We have more to see.   
  
Strong Bad and Tandy are teleported outside of a church.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey, what are we doing at a church?   
  
Tandy: We're to see a certain someone, who's lifestyle has changed since you didn't do the e-mails.   
  
Strong Bad: Really? Who?   
  
Strong Bad and Tandy enter the church to see people cheering.   
  
"And now, the little creature with the gift of god, The Nice!"   
  
Strong Bad: The Nice? Who's The Nice?   
  
A little yellow creature in a shiny white suit slides in from offstage.   
  
Strong Bad: Wait a second...that's not a The Nice, that's a The Cheat! MY The Cheat!   
  
The Cheat: Hello, Free Country!   
  
Strong Bad: And he talks?! The Cheat can't talk!   
  
Tandy: The Cheat can't, but The Nice can.   
  
The Cheat: Are you ready to be healed?   
  
"Yeah!"   
  
The Cheat: Who, than, shall I heal first?   
  
Coach Z: O, O! Hael me frist!   
  
The Cheat: Why, Coach Z, what happened to your speech pattern?   
  
Coach Z: I telya, I wap so mich one daiy, my voieice sond like thes!   
  
The Cheat: I see. Come up here brother Z, and I shall heal thee!   
  
Coach Z comes to the stage. The Cheat takes a few steps backwards, and headbutts Coach Z's jaw.   
  
Coach Z: Ow! What ya do that for?! Wait a sec...I'm cured! Praise The Nice!   
  
"Praise The Nice! Praise The Nice! Praise The Nice!"   
  
Strong Bad: Ok Tandy, you got some explaining to do. How in the HECK did The CHEAT become The NICE?!   
  
Tandy: Well Strong Bad, when all of your "evil" schemes failed, The Cheat was tired of doing bad things, so he ran away. He eventually found religion and learned to speak english. Now he has become The Nice.   
  
"The Nice! The Nice! I need some healing!"   
  
The Cheat: Well, come on up then!   
  
The person who comes up on stage is the other Strong Bad.   
  
The Cheat: Why, Strong Bad! You need healing?   
  
Other Strong Bad: Oh The Cheat, you have to come back! Strong Sad and Strong Mad haven't stopped tormenting me ever since you left!   
  
The Cheat: First of all, it's The Nice. Second of all, how do I know this is not some sort of trickery that you are trying to do?   
  
Other Strong Bad: I'm so serious! They've been hanging me in lockers, gluing me on ceilings, and they tied me to a chair and make me watch Teletubbies for six hours straight!   
  
Strong Bad: Oh....my god. I can not be...that big....of a loser.   
  
The Cheat: I am sorry Strong Bad, but there's a voice within me that's saying not to trust you! Bring this forsaker off my stage!   
  
Strong Bad: Why you betraying little circus freak!   
  
Strong Bad runs up stage and tries to kick The Cheat. Strong Bad misses and goes flying like Charlie Brown.   
  
Strong Bad: Good Grief, I REALLY wished I could hit people!   
  
The Cheat: Whoa! I felt a strong wind rise from behind me! Now I know that Strong Bad is lying. Take him away.   
  
Other Strong Bad: No, please, The Cheat, I mean The Nice, you have to help me! For the love of-   
  
The people throw Strong Bad out of the church.   
  
Strong Bad: What have I done? All this because I wished away the e-mails?   
  
Tandy: There's still more to it. Tell me, Strong Bad, have you ever wondered about what happened to Homestar Runner?   
  
Strong Bad: Homestar? What does he have to do with any of this?   
  
Tandy: You'll see. We're off to see Homestar.   
  
Tandy and Strong Bad disappear, and then show up at some sort of promotional gig. Thousands of reporters and cameramen are surrounding a red carpet.   
  
Strong Bad: Whoa. Is this some sort of reward show?   
  
A limosine pulls up as everybody tries to get close to it. The door opens as Homestar comes out. He has sunglasses on, and is carrying a bottle of water.   
  
"Homestar Homestar! Over here please!"   
  
Homestar: Please, no questions. I'm a very busy man.   
  
"We just want to know about your new commercial-"   
  
Homestar: Look, if you want answers, contact my agents The Chapman Bros., got it? Good. Now get out of my face.   
  
Strong Bad: Holy crap! When did he become so rich and famous?!   
  
Tandy: Since his website made 500,000 hits a day.   
  
Strong Bad: Ok, Tandy, how is that possible? The only way he can even get 100,000 hits is with my e-mail!   
  
Tandy: Maybe, but he got to have a lot more toons since you never DID the e-mails! Common sense Strong Bad.   
  
Strong Bad: I'll show you common sense!   
  
Strong Bad tries to punch Tandy, and falls on his face.   
  
Tandy: Why do you keep forgetting? Now, let us enter the studio.   
  
In the studio:   
  
Homestar: Oh Hello. I'm Homestar Runner. I got the world's best acting skills. Now, I got the world's best cereal with Homestarios!   
  
"Homestarios! Crunchy fruit flavored candy filled with tiny chocolate Fluffypuff Marshmellows in the shapes of Homestar Runner!"   
  
Homestar: Homestarios is not part of a complete breakfast. It IS the complete breakfast!   
  
"Homestarios! Kid tested, Homestar approved!"   
  
Strong Bad: Homestarios? What kind of name is that?   
  
Tandy: [eating Homestarios] I think it's a good name. Want some?   
  
Strong Bad: Where'd you get that box?   
  
Homestar: Ok, that's a wrap. Somebody get me my cell.   
  
Homestar gets his cell and calls up someone.   
  
Strong Sad: Hello?   
  
Homestar: Strong Sad, it's me, Homestar.   
  
Strong Sad: Oh what's up Homestar?   
  
Homestar: Finished my cereal promotion. You?   
  
Strong Sad: Oh, we're just gluing Strong Bad to the ceiling is all.   
  
Other Strong Bad: Guys, whatever you do, PLEASE don't turn on the fan!   
  
Strong Sad: You heard him Strong Mad!   
  
Strong Mad turns the fan on.   
  
Other Strong Bad: Ow my head!   
  
Homestar: Oh man, that sure sounds like Strong Bad! So anyway, Sad, I was wondering if you'd like to do a favor for me.   
  
Strong Sad: Like what?   
  
Homestar: See, I got this new blockbuster movie coming out, but it's got no official theme song. You think you can come up with one?   
  
Strong Sad: Me? Homestar, you work in freaking Hollywood!   
  
Homestar: Strong Sad, I'm gonna be honest. Most singers I see today suck! I mean, I can't turn around without seeing a pop rock clone band or ridiculous rappers who make Coach Z look like Dr.Dre!   
  
Strong Sad: Well, I'll see what I can do.   
  
Homestar: Excellent then. That is all. [hangs up]   
  
Strong Bad: Whoa, I've never seen Homestar talk like this.   
  
"Excuse me, Homestar? N.T. View of MTV! Can I get a word with you?   
  
Homestar: Here's five: Go get me some water!   
  
N.T.View: Heh heh, you're a joker Homestar.   
  
Homestar: That's Mr.Runner to you, View.   
  
N.T.View: Of course. So, Mr.Runner, tell us how it feels to be the #1 popular male actor among teenage girls.   
  
Homestar: Come on! Have you seen these other actors? They don't even act! They just stand around while a bunch of goofy special effects are done everywhere! That isn't acting. That's crap.   
  
N.T.View: Tell us, what was like in your early years?   
  
Homestar: Well, back when I just had a website, I didn't think I could've gotten where I am. But the guys I worked with, it was all possible. In fact, I'd like to take this time to thank the following people. Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Kingy, Coach, Bubs, The Cheat or Nice or whatever he calls himself nowadays...you guys are so cool. But you know what? It feels like I forgot someone...someone very unimportant...   
  
Strong Bad: I can't take this anymore!   
  
Strong Bad goes right up to him.   
  
Strong Bad: Listen to me you armless freak of nature! The reason you became so great was because of me! ME! Strong Bad! STRONG BAD!!!   
  
Homestar: Um...I guess it doesn't matter.   
  
Strong Bad: AAAAH!!   
  
Strong Bad tries to repeatedly punch Homestar in the face, but he keeps missing, no matter how many times he tries.   
  
Homestar: Well View, I gotta go. The Oscars are gonna start in like 3 hours, and I got to get there fast.   
  
Homestar leaves the studio and leaves in his limo.   
  
Homestar: Oh god! Now I remember who I forgot to thank!   
  
Strong Bad: Well, it's about time...   
  
Homestar: Pom Pom! Man I haven't talked to that guy in like...a whole day! Oh well, I'll mention him when I win my Oscar or 5.   
  
Strong Bad: That no good son of a...   
  
Tandy: Oh Strong Bad, there's one little thing I have to show you before we go on.   
  
Strong Bad: Well whatver it is, it CAN'T be worse than Strong Sad's popularity, The Cheat's religious ways, and Homestar's fame!   
  
Tandy: It is. Combined. I'd like you to look deep into my screen.   
  
Strong Bad: What for?   
  
Strong Bad looks at his screen as Homestar Runner's old site is loaded up.   
  
Strong Bad: This is the website. What for?   
  
"Doo hoo hoo! Hello there!"   
  
Strong Bad: Oh no! Not him! It can't be! Not...   
  
"Welcome to the King Of Town dot Net!"   
  
Director: It's dot com.   
  
King of Town: Oh right. King Of Town dot Net! It's dot com!   
  
Strong Bad: THE KING OF TOWN HAS TAKEN OVER THE WEBSITE?!?!   
  
Tandy: That's not the worst of it. Check one of his 10 latest cartoons.   
  
King of Town: Well there, Poopsmith. How goes the shoveling of the poop?   
  
Poopsmith: Um...it's going good, considering I'm shoveling poop...for a living...for some reason...that I don't know...   
  
Strong Bad: Wait a sec, the Poopsmith can't talk!   
  
Tandy: That isn't the old Poopsmith. It's a new one. You.   
  
Strong Bad: WHAT?!   
  
King of Town: Well, keep up the work Strong Bad, er, Poop Bad, er...whatever.   
  
Other Strong Bad: Poop Bad...how embarrassing.   
  
Strong Sad sneaks up behind and shoves him right into the poop.   
  
Strong Sad: AH HA HA HA HA HA! I guess now you really are Poop Bad! AH HA HA HA HA HA!   
  
Strong Bad: Oh for the love of all that is bad, please make this stop. Please stop it already. I can't take it anymore.   
  
Tandy: We still have one more place to visit.   
  
Strong Bad: Oh where now?   
  
Tandy: 4 years into the future from now.   
  
Strong Bad: 4 years huh? Does it get better?   
  
Tandy: Well...yes and no.   
  
Strong Bad: Yes and no?   
  
Tandy starts glowing as they disappear into the future.   
  
Tandy and Strong Bad arrive in Free Country, 4 years from now.   
  
Tandy: We arrived.   
  
Strong Bad: Tell me, Tandy, where exactly are we going?   
  
Tandy: To your house.   
  
Strong Bad: To my house? Why am I not liking this?   
  
Tnady: You haven't liked ANYTHING about this. Now let's go.   
  
They instantly arrive in the basement, where everybody is gathered.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey, why is everybody here?   
  
Tandy: Watch and listen.   
  
Homestar: 3 years...3, freaking, years...I've waited. And waited. And waited. And those Chapman boneheads don't give me a single call! I'm all ruined!   
  
Homestar throws his cold one right at the wall.   
  
Strong Sad: You think you got it bad? It's been a month since that no good Marzipan left me. I swear if I ever find out where she moved, I'm gonna take that guitar and shove it down her throat!   
  
Strong Sad throws his cold one right on the ground.   
  
Homsar: I LOST MY COUNTRY TO A PEANUT!   
  
Homsar breaks the cold one over his head and falls down.   
  
Strong Sad: What a freaking idiot.   
  
The Cheat: Now Now, my brothers! You may all seem to be down, but if there's anything I've learned from my experience as a Cheat, it's that you can always use a scapegoat for our troubles!   
  
Homestar: Well, Homsar's probably dead, so we need to get someone else.   
  
Other Strong Bad: Hey, um, guys, is your meeting done? I want to watch the T.V. now.   
  
All the people smile devilishly.   
  
All: GET HIM!   
  
Other Strong Bad: Oh no!   
  
Strong Bad: Oh crap no!   
  
Everybody chases the other Strong Bad and tie him up.   
  
Strong Bad: Ok, I think I've seen the yes part, and I don't think I want to see the no part!   
  
Everybody carries the other Strong Bad to a steak and tie him to it. Then they light it on fire.   
  
Everybody: BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN!   
  
Homestar: It's cause of you I'm not a celebrity!   
  
Homestar throws a cold one at his head.   
  
Strong Sad: It's cause of you I lost Marzipan forever!   
  
Strong Sad throws a cold one at his head.   
  
Homsar: IT'S CAUSE OF YOU I WAS ELECTED OUT!   
  
Homsar throws a cold one and misses.   
  
Homsar: I'm no good at this...   
  
The Cheat: Let thy sinner burn! And repent for all that he has done!   
  
Other Strong Bad: No, please, let me down! For the love of god let me down!   
  
The fire gets bigger and starts to burn the Other Strong Bad.   
  
Other Strong Bad: Why...why does this have to happen? If only...If only I did something that would've made me super popular...   
  
Strong Bad: No! This can't be! This can't be how I would turn out!   
  
Tandy: I can't lie Strong Bad. You are burnned at the steak, and as you would like to put it, "all is left to burnination".   
  
Strong Bad: Burnination...it reminds me of Trogdor. But there is no Trogdor...no email...no Strong Bad...nothing...   
  
In a sudden flash, Strong Bad is back in his basement.   
  
Strong Bad: Huh? Where are we?   
  
Tandy: Back in your basement, the moment before all of this happened. Well Strong Bad, what have you learned from all this?   
  
Strong Bad: Well, I've learned that I REALLY HATE THOSE GUYS!   
  
Tandy: Ahem.   
  
Strong Bad: And...and that I should of never wished my weekly e-mail away. I mean sure, I get tons and tons of crappy letters about my gloves, but you know what? I got so angry about that, that I forgot what the e-mails are really for. Entertaining those who don't send those dumb messages, and for those who only go to the site to see the e-mails in the first place. Tandy...I want to do my e-mails again!   
  
All of a sudden, Tandy sprouts a pair of cyberwings.   
  
Tandy: I've done it! I've got my cyberwings! Thank you Strong Bad!   
  
Strong Bad: Thank YOU Tandy!   
  
Tandy flies up to computer heaven, as everything goes white.   
  
Strong Bad starts to open his eyes from the couch.   
  
Strong Bad: Huh? What happened? Was that a dream?   
  
Strong Bad gets up and see something on the floor.   
  
Strong Bad: What's this?   
  
He picks it up and sees it's adjustment knobs for a computer.   
  
Strong Bad: Wait...this is Tandy's! So it WAS real! But...am I back where I am?   
  
"Trogdor!"   
  
He turns around to see his Trogdor machine turned on.   
  
Strong Bad: My Trogdor game! It's back! I'm back! My e-mail is back!   
  
Strong Bad runs outside to see Strongbadia.   
  
Strong Bad: My kingdom! My beautiful kingdom!   
  
His yelling wakes up The Cheat next to the tire.   
  
The Cheat: Reh! Reohreh!   
  
Strong Bad: The Cheat! You're no longer The Nice! Oh it's good to see your back to your old self!   
  
Strong Bad gives him a big hug and runs off. The Cheat scratches his head in confusion.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey everybody, my e-mail is back! My e-mail is back!   
  
King of Town: Go tell someone who cares! Crazy glove wearing...   
  
Strong Bad runs up to Strong Sad.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey dumbface! This is for hitting me with the ceiling fan!   
  
He kicks him right in the knee.   
  
Strong Sad: Ow. What did I do to deserve that?   
  
He then runs up to Homestar Runner.   
  
Strong Bad: Hey Homestar, what's 2+2?   
  
Homestar: Um...is this some sort of twick question?   
  
Strong Bad: Whoo-hoo! You're not smart anymore!   
  
Strong Bad runs off again.   
  
Homestar: Wow...what's with him?   
  
He then runs up to Homsar.   
  
Homsar: Hey there Strong-   
  
Strong Bad: Out of my way!   
  
String Bad pushes him out of his way and goes back into his house. He slows down and walks up to Compy.   
  
Strong Bad: Oh Compy, I'll never unplug you again. Well, except during lighting storms so like, you don't break and...you know what I mean!   
  
Strong Bad is about to plug in Compy, but stops.   
  
Strong Bad: Oh wait, there's just one thing.   
  
Strong Bad gets duct tape and attaches Tandy's adjustment knobs on Compy.   
  
Strong Bad: Thank you Tandy, for everything.   
  
He then plugs in Compy to start his e-mail.   
  
Strong Bad: Ok Compy, load the e-mail!   
  
[strong_bads_email.exe]   
  
Dear Strong Bad,   
  
I read this boring story on the internet where anytime   
  
someone restores an e-mail account, a computer   
  
angel gets it's cyberwings. Do you believe this crap?   
  
Vincent Chiucchi   
  
Brooklyn, New York   
  
Strong Bad: I sure do Vinny. I SURE DO!   
  
THE END 


	4. Email 3: System Sounds by Happy T!

Created by Happy T!  
  
Happy T!'s Notes:  
  
*Spiderman tune plays* E-mails! E-mails! Makes you nauseoius, E-mails!   
  
a run "sb_emails.exe"   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
dear strond bag,   
  
can gou yive me some typing sipt?   
  
bour yuddy,   
  
fahorgalads.   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
a Woops! This email went to the wrong person, I better just send it to him... DELETED!!   
  
Tandy: Ba-leeted!   
  
a What? That's never happened in the thousands of millions of emails I have done.   
  
run "dasystem.exe"   
  
*blue screen with a bunch of words pops up. Info includes: RAM: chicken Hard drive space: Swiss cake roll CD's - A bunch Name of computer : da the 386. Scrolls down to sounds*   
  
Ah ha! Here is the culprit of the caper! Someone's been messing with my computer!   
  
*SB runs off *   
  
*Coach Z comes in and sits down at the computer*   
  
CZ: He'll never expect a thing! *Changes everything around*   
  
(Paper)   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Eggs: Click on chicken for, guess what?, a picture of a chicken!   
  
Wait 30 seconds and Coach Z says: I'd love to this for my jorb!   
  
Wait 5 seconds more and CZ types in HACK'D! Click on it for a special mini toon.   
  
Mini toon: *at Bubs', Bubs is tinkering with an old computer*   
  
*CZ walks up* Bubs: Oh! You cam just at the right time!   
  
CZ: What can I do for ya Bubsie?   
  
Bubs: ... Don't you call me that. I need you to say this: *pulls out an old TV that shows a certain song sequence from Merry Poppins*   
  
CZ: Eh, ok, here I go: *takes a deep breath* Soipercoilkerdafernisticbealghhhahhh! *Coach Z's head explodes*   
  
END OF EMAIL"D 


	5. Email 4: Wrestling License by Marzipan1...

Created by Marzipan12390  
  
Marzipan12390's notes:  
  
arun "sb_email.exe"   
  
Strong Bad: Mails that are electronic... also known as emails.   
  
Dear mr.bad.   
  
you need to update your wrestling licence.   
  
Mr. a. Frog.   
  
the closest wrestling office   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
aWhat the crap? What kind of wrestlng office are you if you can't even type write (backsapce 5 times) right? And what the crap is a   
  
wrestling licence?! I don't need a stinkin' licence to wrestle you!   
  
(Strong Bad jumps on the monitor and starts throwing it towards the floor and body slamming it and stuff.)   
  
Strong Bad: Renew your own licenses... NERDS!   
  
(pause, Strong Bad is out of breath)   
  
Strong Bad: (with dying enthusiasm, lamely) Yeah, go renew those licenses...   
  
(pause)   
  
Strong Bad: (even more lamely) Oh, yeah...   
  
(Door slams. Bubs walks in.)   
  
Bubs: Hey, Strong Bad, can I have that crazy crap? I've been looking for a body-slammed destroyed computer monitor everywhere!   
  
Strong Bad: What? No! I just finished wrestling the wrestling license renewal people. Which reminds me. I have to go get my wrestling   
  
license renewed! (walks off)   
  
(Door slams, Bubs looks around quickly, picks up the destroyed monitor, and zooms off. Paper comes down.)   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Eggs:   
  
1. Click on "licence" in Strong Bad's response and see a cruddy piece of stained, crumpled paper that has the following items:   
  
WRESTLING LICENCE   
  
Name: Strong Bad   
  
Age: Why should you know?   
  
Height: Some   
  
Weight: Some more (All Abs, man!)   
  
Occupation: Interior decorator... no! I mean, Wrestler! I mean... YES I'M AWESOME!   
  
2. Wait for 30 seconds after the email and Homestar comes in with a bottle of Mountain Dew   
  
Homestar: Oh, hewwo cwass! Now we awe going to make a wet monitow out of Stwong Bad's monitow!   
  
(Homestar looks at the table where the monitor is gone)   
  
Homestar: (suspiciously, with angry eyebrows, bends toward "us") Jewooooooome?   
  
3. Click on Homestar's bottle of soda to pour it out onto the carpet.   
  
Homestar: Jewome, you've got detention fow fowevew! Go to the pwincipal's office wight now!   
  
(pause)   
  
Homestar: (embarassed) Oh yeah. (closes eys)I fowgot. (pause) Thewe is no pwincipal's office. (happy again, opens eyes) Okay, bye! (walks off) 


	6. Email 5: Money by KungFuGrape

Money by KungFuGrape  
  
KungFuGrape's notes: I've been wanting to do this one of these days, but I never got around to it. Now I have.   
  
___________________________________________________________   
  
Strong Bad (singing as he types "strongbad_email.exe" on the Compy 386): If I didn't have my e-mail, I wouldn't be the man I am today.   
  
Strong Bad reads aloud what appears on the screen:   
  
dear strong bad   
  
where do you ge the money for all your cool stuf??/? imean it has to come from somwhere????   
  
fom thomas.   
  
Strong Bad (as he types): *sigh* C'mon peoples, is it really that hard to just take ten freakin' seconds out of your lives, to make sure your emails are readable? Anyways, onto the email! (Strong Bad presses a key, the screen goes blank, and Strong Bad resumes typing) So, you wanna know where I get all my cash? Well, there's a variety of ways. The Cheat earns a lot of our money.   
  
The scene cuts to outside, on an open field where The Cheat is standing. Coach Z walks by, and The Cheat deliberately trips him. While Coach Z is stunned, The Cheat pulls a wallet out of where his pockets would be. Coach Z gets up.   
  
Coach Z: Oh, uh… sorry there, The Chort.   
  
Coach Z keeps on walking. The scene cuts back to the Compy 386.   
  
Strong Bad: And, Strong Mad has known to be a persuasive young gentleman.   
  
The scene cuts to The Stick, where Strong Mad and Homestar are standing.   
  
Strong Mad (yelling): GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!   
  
Homestar (enthusiastically): Okay! Whatever you say, buddy!   
  
Homestar then produces a large sack with a dollar sign on it from behind his back. Strong Mad grabs it, knocking Homestar backwards in the process. The scene cuts back to the Compy 386.   
  
Strong Bad: But, most of all, we get it through one, simple process. Bubs.   
  
The scene cuts to Bubs' Concession Stand, where Bubs, Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing. We can also see Strong Bad, standing beside the concession stand, out of Bubs' view.   
  
Strong Mad (to Bubs): LOOK BEHIND YOU! LOOK BEHIND YOU!   
  
Bubs turns, and Strong Bad jumps over the counter, grabs Bubs' cash register, jumps back over the counter, and he, Strong Mad, and The Cheat run away. The scene cuts back to the Compy 386.   
  
Strong Bad: So, there you go, little Thomas. That's how I get my cash. If you wanna try some of them, you're more than welcome to, as long as you split the profits with me. You made need a bit of practice, because these are no easy feats, especially the last one.   
  
The paper comes down, with the usual message on it.   
  
END   
  
Easter egg: Click on "last one". The scene cuts to Bubs' Concession Stand, at night, where Bubs still has his back turned.   
  
Bubs: Uh… Strong Mad? I don't see anything… I think I'm gonna stop looking soon… Strong Mad? *sigh* I'm so alone…   
  
The sound of a wolf howling is heard. The screen cuts back to the Compy 386.   
  
Easter egg 2: Click on "cash". The scene cuts to a picture of The Cheat, Strong Bad and Strong Mad. Strong Bad is sitting on an inflatable bed in a pool, while Strong Mad and The Cheat are both sitting on nearby pool chairs. They are all wearing gold necklaces, rings, etc.   
  
Strong Mad: LIVING IT UP! LIVING IT UP!   
  
The Cheat: Meh!   
  
Strong Bad: Aah... this is the life...   
  
The scene cuts back to the Compy 386. 


	7. Email 6: Strong Sad by Dogadon

Strong Sad by Dogadon  
  
Dogadon's notes:   
  
Strong Bad : If you want to get an email loan, then just call 555-65678!   
  
*screen cuts to the email*   
  
The email reads:   
  
hi strong bade   
  
did you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, like Strong Sad?   
  
ricky from juice cartoon   
  
EASTER EGG : Click on Juice Cartoon for a little pop-up saying "Come to juice cartoon for a fantastic holiday!   
  
Strong Bad : Juice cartoon? What the ... oh man! And the email sucks too! I mean, what the crap? Anyway. Lets get to answering.   
  
*screen gets cleared and Strong Bad starts typing*   
  
Well, ricky, you, dumb, crappy, moron you, Strong Sad , well. I remeber the childhood days...   
  
*the picture goes all wavery and a flashback ensues*   
  
Strong Bads voice in the background : I remeber when me and Strong Mad used to go round to him when he was doing some crap about nature and then release killer bees on him.   
  
While Strong Bad is talking, Young Strong Sad is studying leafs and young Strong Mad and Strong Bad throw a crate on Young Strong Sad which has a label on it which says   
  
"DANGER : LIVE CONTENT on it"   
  
EASTER EGG : Click on the crate when its on Strong Sads head and it'll cycle through various labels, from FRAGILE to REALLY CRAPPY CONTENT.   
  
Scene cuts away back to the Compy.   
  
Oh, and there was that one time, where I got a large piece of wood and battered him around the head with it... *Strong Bad Snickers* Nine times! But that is a story for another time, Ricky. Now, I'ma gonna watch TV.   
  
*Strong Bad walks away and the paper comes down*   
  
END OF EMAIL   
  
EASTER EGG : Click on "large piece of wood" and it'll show you Young Strong Bad hitting Young Strong Sad over the head with a large branch. After about 5 seconds, the screen comes back to the compy.   
  
EASTER EGG : Click on "watch tv" and Present Strong Bad will be sitting on the couch, and then Present Strong Sad will come along and say :   
  
Strong Sad : Oh, hey Strong Bad, I just wanted to tell you that..   
  
*Strong Bad gets a pointy stick out from under one of the couch cushions and points Strong Sad with it. After about 3 seconds, the scene comes back to the compy*   
  
EASTER EGG : Click on "Nine times" and you'll hear a Sound clip of Homestar "from the "crazy cartoon" email, where The Cheat shows SB his cartoon" saying "Hey Strong Bad, I need to be kicked in the face"   
  
END OF EMAIL. No. No more easter eggs. 


End file.
